"Infidelity is simply defined as the breaking of trust and the keeping of secrets in an intimate partnership." -Rob Weiss, MSW

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How Guilty Should You Feel About An Emotional Affair?

Is sexual activity the defining feature of an affair, or can you cheat on your partner even when no sex is involved? And no sexual activity means none at all: no in-person sex, phone sex, Internet sex, explicit text messages or anything else. Can an emotional connection with someone other than your partner become so intense and involving that it qualifies as a violation of your relationship?

Emotional affairs can be a true gray area, much more so than the “gray areas” involved in Internet infidelity. It’s a question of degrees, and determining whether there is a level of emotional attachment with another person can impact your marriage or relationship. (more…)

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Internet Porn And The Rise Of Sex Addiction

Statistics for sex addiction are hard to come by for a number of reasons. Some experts still deny the existence of sex addiction, also known as hypersexual disorder. Diagnosing this condition isn’t easy and, of course, it is likely that a high percentage of people struggling with it are too ashamed to ask for help. In spite of the shaky statistics, many experts who work with sex addicts agree that the problem is on the rise, and many attribute the near epidemic levels of sex addiction to (more…)

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5 Reasons People Cheat

Cheating in a relationship can be devastating. Some couples manage to work through it, while others just can’t continue. What the offended partner is always left wondering, regardless of whether the relationship survives, is why? Why does anyone cheat in a relationship? Sometimes even the cheater isn’t sure. In some cases it may be a genuine case of sex addiction — a compulsive urge to engage in inappropriate sexual relationships — but in others the causes are not so clinical. (more…)

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When Narcissism Dances With Sex Addiction

Narcissism is a personality characteristic that includes feelings of self-absorption, entitlement, grandiosity and often a willingness to exploit others for one’s own gain. People high in narcissism tend to be low in empathy. Narcissists tend to revel in praise and admiration, but often react badly to criticism. A narcissist may be charming and charismatic, and may even be good at feigning humility, but an arrogant point of view is more authentic to his/her character.

It probably isn’t a surprise to learn that clinicians, not just the general public, recognize that a large number of sex addicts behave in fairly narcissist ways. What may be surprising, however, is (more…)

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Will He Ever Leave His Wife For You?

By Virginia Gilbert, MFT
@VGilbertMFT

You didn’t mean for it to happen. And it’s not just about sex. The emotional connection between you is potent, the kind of intimacy you’ve been craving your entire life. The only thing coming between you and your soul mate is that someone else thinks he’s her soul mate, too — his wife.

He assures you he’s leaving her. He’s just waiting for the right time. He needs to deal with some financial matters, or get his youngest into college, or see her through her father’s illness. (more…)

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Are Christians More Likely To Cheat?

The relationship between infidelity and religion might seem obvious at first. Surely all religions view cheating and adultery as wrong, right? It turns out that there are some variations in rates of infidelity and religious infidelity. The research is limited, but non-academic surveys have found that Christian daters (more…)

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Are Some People Hardwired For Sex?

Sex addiction will always be a controversial subject. Addiction itself is controversial, with some people still believing it to be a moral failing and a matter of choice. Addictions that involve a behavior rather than a chemical substance will always be more difficult to define, diagnose and explain, and sex addiction is no exception. Recent research is adding more fuel to the debate with the finding that some people are hardwired to desire more sex than others. It raises the question: Is this the basis for sex addiction? (more…)

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The Female Love Avoidant

Hailey’s relationship with her mother was often tense, but for things to go smoothly, the 32-year-old had to do a lot of pretending. She still needed her mother, or believed she did, and so she had become a master at pretending. She had never confronted her mom about the incest, and had never asked questions about any of the other painful things her mom had allowed to happen to Hailey—though, of course, both women knew. (more…)

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Sex Addiction: Full Disclosure – Coming Clean In Getting Clean

In the inevitable moment when a sex addict is finally caught by his partner, it can feel like the sky is truly falling, that the ground is caving in. Having his secret life discovered engages simultaneous relief and defensiveness. A sex addict may be glad to finally have the weight of his lies lifted (it’s been exhausting to tell so many), but is terrified of abandonment. And that means he’s almost certainly (more…)

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The Psychology Of A Sex Addict

There are many ways in which sex addiction can manifest. Some addicts need to have random hook ups with strangers, while others use pornography to meet their needs. Some are addicted to self-pleasure or a particular fetish, while other sex addicts crave the voyeuristic attention of others. Behind all the varying behaviors of sex addiction is the psychology of the addict. (more…)

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