Stop right there, you might be thinking. Aren’t sex addicts like narcissists—the ones who always manage to get involved with codependents? Surely they aren’t codependent themselves. How could a sex addict be codependent (more…)
Research over the past couple of decades has provided evidence that suggests infidelity can, in fact, lead to illness. This research suggests that infidelity can be a factor in the development of mental illness and can also have consequences for a person’s physical health. (more…)
Cheating in a relationship is as common as it is unpleasant. I am rapidly headed for my 50th birthday and can’t name a single friend or acquaintance who has never experienced this dynamic in a relationship. Personally, I have experienced cheating in different ways: I have cheated, I have been “the other woman” and I have been victimized by a cheater. My cheating happened when I was still in college and created a chain of events so powerfully bad I never cheated again. I felt horrible about what I’d done and truly horrible about who I had become. It was a long hard climb to get out of that hole.
But when I was on the receiving end of infidelity, I was a mom, almost 40 years old, and the notion of commitment had altogether different meanings and importance to me. It wasn’t about just him and me – we had children who became ensnarled in the web of lies and hurt. It was much uglier and much more destructive than the teenage drama I had unwittingly perpetrated decades earlier. (more…)
Psychologists traditionally focus on the mother/child relationships and mostly ignore fathers, especially the father/daughter relationship. However, new research is increasingly concluding that fathers greatly influence their daughter’s self-esteem, interpersonal relationships, gender roles, mental and emotional health, and achievements in academics and career. What’s more surprising is that a father has a deeper influence on his daughter’s future relationship with men than does her mother. (more…)
Most people who experience romantic or sexual infidelity by their spouse are not most traumatized by the extramarital sex itself. The deepest hurt or pain stems from the fact that their committed partner has crushed their belief and trust in them, their closest partner. For the healthy, primary partner that’s attached, the experience can be unbelievably traumatic. Often, the betrayed spouse is left with a sense of profound, unplanned betrayal. (more…)
When smartphones first came out, no one could have foreseen the changes they would have on communication and interpersonal dynamics. The ability to send private pictures and hide behind texts has paved the way for “sexting”, a new trend among today’s youth.
Many young girls especially are admitting that they feel pressured, even bullied, into taking sexual photos of themselves. And whereas in days past, guys would brag amongst themselves about a sexual encounter, now they can show photos to everyone at school. (more…)
Two separate studies were recently completed on the effects of childhood trauma and how it can affect intimate relationships later on in life. Childhood emotional maltreatment, or CEM, includes physical and sexual abuse, neglect and emotional mistreatment.
Studies suggest that a rough childhood can affect romantic relationships in destructive ways later on in life. Researchers found that that study participants had extremely strong tendencies toward self-criticisms which interfered with their relationships and basically derailed them. (more…)
A surprising and violent twist has entered the social media scene, involving women and pornography. Groupon — the popular savings and deal-offering website that features discounts on everything from theater to salons to restaurants — is now offering a promotion to purchase a deal on an experience with Kink.com, a creator of pornography associated with bondage and violence toward women. (more…)
Returning home from war should be a joyful time for military personnel and their families. But for some service men and women, experiences abroad cast a shadow on life at home, making it difficult to acclimate to normal life. While some veterans turn to drugs and alcohol to cope, reports suggest a growing number are seeking solace in porn.
The wars in Iraq and Afghanistan have led to an epidemic of porn abuse among military personnel. While an estimated 10 percent of civilians suffer from pornography addiction and other forms of sexual addiction, Navy Lt. Michael Howard, a licensed therapist, chaplain and sex addiction specialist, believes the statistic among military personnel is closer to 20 percent, according to a March 31, 2010 article in The Army Times. (more…)
Military service puts people at risk for a host of problems, including post-traumatic stress disorder, violence, substance abuse, depression, compulsive gambling and insomnia. Now researchers add to that list a risk many wouldn’t anticipate: a greater likelihood of cheating.
After analyzing data from a 1992 national survey, Andrew S. London, chair of the sociology department and a sociology professor at Syracuse University, made the following findings:
• Military veterans are about twice as likely to have extramarital sex as married non-veterans (32 percent compared to 16.8 percent).
• Veterans were nearly 10 percent more likely to have gotten divorced than non-veterans (38.5 percent compared to 28.9 percent).
• Those veterans who engaged in extramarital sex were 2.3 times more likely to be divorced.
While the study didn’t include enough women to draw definitive conclusions, researchers believe these findings may apply to women veterans as well.
“The results of this study provide robust evidence that veteran status was strongly associated with an increased likelihood of extramarital sex and divorce – at least among men – and suggest that the odds of extramarital sex and divorce might also be elevated among female veterans,” said London.
It is tempting to blame military service for the increased risk of infidelity, assuming that prolonged deployments and the stresses of war put a strain on marriages, but researchers cautioned against jumping to such conclusions.
“We do not know from these data whether the extramarital sex occurred prior to, during, or after the conclusion of the respondent’s military service, and we do not know the military service status of spouses,” London noted.
Military service has a dramatic impact on all areas of life for military personnel and their families, including their sex lives. Rather than attempting to shame or blame military veterans who cheat, researchers hope that this research aids in the treatment of any underlying issues that contribute to infidelity. The people who serve our country need additional support to maintain the relationships that are critically important for their continued health and well-being.