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How Can You Tell If He’s Cheating On You?

How Can You Tell If He's Cheating On You? It’s not how you think.

For example, you may think that if your partner suddenly becomes more sexual with you, it means he’s taken a new interest in your love life.  However, private detectives and marriage counselors can tell you that the opposite can be true.  Although less sex typically means he’s with someone else, a sudden surge in sex with you can mean the same thing.

Has he started to buy you unexpected gifts or told you to treat yourself more often?  These can be “guilt gifts.”

If he is always talking about some female “friend” – believe it or not – that can be a sign of cheating.  Men who cheat actually appreciate their wives’ opinions about the new person.

Working late at the office is not necessarily a sign of cheating, because many lovers meet during regular work hours.  However, a lot of cheating takes place on business trips and conventions.   Being absent from home and family during holidays can be a sign of cheating.

Here are other signs that you might look for if you suspect your partner is cheating on you:

  • He loses weight, joins a gym, buys new clothes, changes his hair style or otherwise takes a new interest in his appearance.
  • He is extremely secretive about his computer or texting.  If you come in the room, he bangs his laptop shut.  Everything is protected by passwords you don’t know.  Try saying that the New York Times recently had an article called “In Love and Sharing Everything, Even Passwords,” and that today’s lovers are always sharing passwords as a romantic sign of devotion and trust.
  • He shuts down phone conversations when you come in the room. Check his phone records if you suspect something and try calling any strange number he has been calling all the time. Is he using more than one mobile phone? Also, look for texts sent from coded addresses that are usually only numbers.
  • He talks about movies you haven’t seen together, suddenly changes his taste in music,  and has weird memory lapses (because he is lying so much about what he has been doing).
  • His friends act strange around you – less open, more guarded (because they know).
  • Go through credit card and bank statements and look for charges from lingerie or jewelry stores, dinners for two, and so forth.  Check the dates against your memory of where he was at those times.
  • Men who have recently lost their jobs or become fathers are more likely to cheat on their wives.
  • Does he take a shower immediately upon coming home? Does he sometimes smell of another woman?
  • Has he become more critical of you? Is he picking more fights?  Does he appear moody and unpredictable? These can be signs he’s comparing you to someone else.
  • Finally, a dead give-away: he tells you he loves you but he’s not in love with you.


Myers, Sheri. “Is My Partner Cheating?” The Huffington Post, August 20, 2010.

Richel, Matt. “Young, In Love and Sharing Everything -Including Passwords,” The New York Times,  January 17, 2012.

Santos, Rich. “Nine Signs He’s Cheating on You,” Marie Claire, Magazine, February 19, 2010.

“Signs of a Cheating Spouse”, The Martin Detective Agency, see

Relationship troubles? Get specialized help. Call: 877-960-0630