The experience of having a partner cheat on you is devastating. You feel lost, betrayed, sad, confused and just generally bad. Worst of all, you might feel like your relationship is over. How can you possibly trust him again? How can you forgive what he did to you?
The first and most important thing you need to do after discovering an infidelity is to step back for a bit. Think about what happened and what you want to do next. Ending the relationship in a knee-jerk reaction may be something you will regret later. As you process what happened, here are some tips to help you recover from the betrayal of infidelity.
Tips For Recovering From Infidelity
- Spend some time apart – Your partner’s responses to being caught are going to feel overwhelming to you. In order to respond yourself and really feel what you’re feeling without his input or pleading, you need some time alone. This doesn’t mean you need a full separation or even that anyone needs to move out. Just ask for some space to think and process.
- Cry it out – You may feel like you need to be strong in the face of this adversity, but you also need to express your feelings. Cry for hours if you need to, or go to the gym and hit the punching bag repeatedly. Whatever it takes to release your emotions, doing so will make you feel better.
- Talk to your partner – Part of you will never want to see him again, but you need to talk about what happened. The conversation should be honest. Tell him how his actions have made you feel and ask for empathy. Try to be calm while expressing your emotions, but make sure you get it all out in the open.
- Listen to your partner – You get to talk first, but you also need to listen to your partner. Only he can tell you why he did what he did. If you want to understand how your relationship got to this point, you need to hear what he has to say. Listen without judgment until he is finished. Take some time to think through what he said before you respond with heated emotions.
- Talk to those closest to you – It’s not easy to share your betrayal, but choose one or two close friends or family members whom you trust. Talk to them about what happened and ask for their opinions. Sometimes those closest to us see things in us or our relationships that we miss. Ultimately, how you go forward is up to you and your partner, but your closest friends may have some valuable insights. They also provide a non-judgmental sounding board.
- Get counseling – If you and your partner want to move forward and try to repair your relationship, getting help from a professional couple’s counselor is recommended. This is someone who can guide you through the process of rebuilding trust and figuring out what flaws in your relationship need to be fixed. If you are really struggling to get through this, you might want to get some individual counseling as well.
- The healthiest thing you can do for yourself is to forgive your partner – Whether you split up or not, forgiveness is something you do for yourself, not him. It is a part of healing and it is something to work toward.
Healing Is Needed For The Hurt To Lessen
Infidelity is a terrible situation for everyone. Whether you decide to stay together or to go your separate ways, you have a lot of healing to do. Getting over cheating will take time and patience, but eventually the hurt will lessen.
Don’t Forget Your Worth…