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	<title>Relationships &#8211; It&#039;s Cheating</title>
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	<description>infidelity in the digital age</description>
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		<title>You’re So Vain, I bet That’s Why You’re Always Cheating on Me</title>
		<link>https://www.itscheating.com/relationships/youre-so-vain-i-bet-thats-why-youre-always-cheating-on-me/</link>
		
		<dc:creator><![CDATA[itscheating]]></dc:creator>
		<pubDate>Tue, 27 Apr 2021 21:25:05 +0000</pubDate>
				<category><![CDATA[Relationships]]></category>
		<guid isPermaLink="false">https://www.itscheating.com/?p=202</guid>

					<description><![CDATA[<p>The common-sense view of people who cheat is that they are vain and selfish and mostly out for themselves and their own needs. They do not care how much someone &#8230; <a href="https://www.itscheating.com/relationships/youre-so-vain-i-bet-thats-why-youre-always-cheating-on-me/" class="more-link">Read More</a></p>
<p>The post <a rel="nofollow" href="https://www.itscheating.com/relationships/youre-so-vain-i-bet-thats-why-youre-always-cheating-on-me/">You’re So Vain, I bet That’s Why You’re Always Cheating on Me</a> appeared first on <a rel="nofollow" href="https://www.itscheating.com">It&#039;s Cheating</a>.</p>
]]></description>
										<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>The common-sense view of people who cheat is that they are vain and selfish and mostly out for themselves and their own needs. They do not care how much someone else suffers or how much they cause it as long as they get what they want.</p>
<p>Social scientists who study people who cheat on their partners actually confirm this common-sense view of infidelity. A cluster of personality traits like selfishness and lack of feeling for others together make up a personality disorder called “narcissism.” While not everyone who cheats is a narcissist, people with those traits are more likely to be unfaithful and enter into a series of short-term relationships with the opposite sex.</p>
<p>A narcissist lover works something like a flashlight battery. The light is beautiful, but it burns out fast. The average narcissist, according to a study from the University of Alabama, has relationships that turn sour after about four months. The thing is that they are so good at first impressions that they can quickly find another relationship to replace it.</p>
<p>Narcissists tend to be physically more attractive than average, and they have great self-esteem. They dress well and carefully groom themselves. Female narcissists prefer sexy clothing. They were more popular in school than most students. Male narcissists (and there are more narcissistic men than women) tend to brag, be witty and talk in loud voices, but both sexes dominate conversations and act bored when others are talking.</p>
<p>Narcissists make great first impressions because they tend to more attractive, intelligent, and charismatic than others and because they know how to manipulate other people. They walk into a party and immediately “own” the room.</p>
<p>Narcissists see other people as objects they use to further their self-interest. And they are only interested in themselves and their goals, most often to be unrealistically successful, rich, and famous. They make friendships based on what the other person has that benefits them — they prefer people who are wealthy, beautiful, well-connected, etc. They use their charm and intelligence to get what they want and drop those who are no longer useful to them.</p>
<p>Narcissists tend to be jealous lovers. They over-react, usually by getting angry, if a partner criticizes them or shows too much independence. They need you to constantly admire them. As your relationship starts to mature and you start treating them in a normal way, they move on to someone who will worship them. They are actually more likely to cheat when they believe a partner is committed to them.</p>
<p>Dr. Jonason of the University of South Alabama and certain other psychologists believe that narcissism may be a “sexual style” that evolved over time as a way of successfully ensuring a variety of fertile sexual partners.</p>
<p>Dr. Robert Emmons was the first to write about the paradox of narcissism, which is that although a narcissist devalues other people, he desperately needs them to admire him. In other words, you can get over an affair with a narcissist and find a healthy romantic relationship, but like that flashlight battery, he will just keep going and going and going and going on to someone new.</p>
<p>The post <a rel="nofollow" href="https://www.itscheating.com/relationships/youre-so-vain-i-bet-thats-why-youre-always-cheating-on-me/">You’re So Vain, I bet That’s Why You’re Always Cheating on Me</a> appeared first on <a rel="nofollow" href="https://www.itscheating.com">It&#039;s Cheating</a>.</p>
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		<title>Is Flirting A Sign Of Sex Addiction?</title>
		<link>https://www.itscheating.com/relationships/is-flirting-a-sign-of-sex-addiction/</link>
		
		<dc:creator><![CDATA[itscheating]]></dc:creator>
		<pubDate>Tue, 27 Apr 2021 21:21:33 +0000</pubDate>
				<category><![CDATA[Relationships]]></category>
		<guid isPermaLink="false">https://www.itscheating.com/?p=200</guid>

					<description><![CDATA[<p>Sex addiction can be devastating to relationships. When one partner becomes obsessed with the act of sex, it can lead to cheating and affairs, compulsive use of pornography, and other &#8230; <a href="https://www.itscheating.com/relationships/is-flirting-a-sign-of-sex-addiction/" class="more-link">Read More</a></p>
<p>The post <a rel="nofollow" href="https://www.itscheating.com/relationships/is-flirting-a-sign-of-sex-addiction/">Is Flirting A Sign Of Sex Addiction?</a> appeared first on <a rel="nofollow" href="https://www.itscheating.com">It&#039;s Cheating</a>.</p>
]]></description>
										<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p><span data-preserver-spaces="true">Sex addiction can be devastating to relationships. When one partner becomes obsessed with the act of sex, it can lead to cheating and affairs, compulsive use of pornography, and other unhealthy behaviors. If you are concerned that your partner may have an issue with sex, you should seek professional help. If the reason you’re worried is that your partner is flirting a lot, you may or may not have a valid reason to be concerned.</span></p>
<h2><span data-preserver-spaces="true">Differences Of Normal And Problem Flirting</span></h2>
<p><span data-preserver-spaces="true">Sometimes flirting is nothing more than normal social interaction. Other times it is a sign of a larger issue.</span></p>
<h3><span data-preserver-spaces="true">Normal Flirting</span></h3>
<p><span data-preserver-spaces="true">Relationship experts and anthropologists consider flirting to be a normal part of human interaction. Researchers studying cultures around the world find flirting in every corner of the globe. It’s simply a universal human tool of communication. Taking it back to the most basic level, we flirt in order to get a mate, reproduce and pass on our genetic material. After thousands of years of doing it, flirting has become instinctual and something that we do even when the primary objective has been met.</span></p>
<p><span data-preserver-spaces="true">When someone is in a happy and stable relationship and still flirting with other people, it does not necessarily indicate a problem. Your partner may flirt with other women because it makes him feel young and attractive. He may do it just because it’s fun to interact with others in a playful manner. Maybe it was his charming nature that drew you to him in the first place. It does not necessarily mean he is looking for an affair or that he has a problem with sex addiction.</span></p>
<h3><span data-preserver-spaces="true">Flirting As Part Of A Bigger Problem</span></h3>
<p><span data-preserver-spaces="true">While for most people flirting is an innocent, harmless and normal way to interact with others, for some, it can be an indicator of a deeper problem. Someone with a sex addiction typically engages in more than one unhealthy behavior to an obsessive degree. Flirting may be one of these. Other problem behaviors can include using online pornography, interacting with women online in an inappropriate way, or sending sexual texts (sexting).</span></p>
<h4><span data-preserver-spaces="true">So How Can You Tell If Your Partner’s Flirting Is Normal Or A Sex Addiction Behavior?</span></h4>
<p><span data-preserver-spaces="true">Be aware of your partner’s other behaviors. One aspect of sex addiction is a preoccupation with anything sexual. Flirting is a way of interacting with people that makes sense if sex is always on his mind. Other ways in which he may show this preoccupation are by making sexual jokes, constantly eyeing other people, or talking too much about sex and appearance.</span></p>
<p><span data-preserver-spaces="true">Sex addicts are compulsive about their behavior. </span></p>
<p><span data-preserver-spaces="true">If you ask your partner to be less flirtatious because it bothers you and he can’t comply, he could have a problem. If he is not a sex addict and is just an outgoing and flirty person, he should be able to tone it down to make you feel more comfortable. Another sign of sex addiction, especially in someone who flirts a lot, is low self-esteem. Many sex addicts feel unworthy, and flirting is a way to feel more desirable.</span></p>
<h3><span data-preserver-spaces="true">Talk With Your Partner – Professional Help May Be Required</span></h3>
<p><span data-preserver-spaces="true">You may not be able to fully determine whether your partner is a sex addict without professional help. But if you are worried about it, start by talking to him. If he hears your concerns, accepts them as valid, and changes his behavior, you’re probably not living with a sex addict. If he can’t change his ways, ask him to see a specialist with you. An expert in relationships and sex addiction can help you work through the situation.</span></p>
<p>The post <a rel="nofollow" href="https://www.itscheating.com/relationships/is-flirting-a-sign-of-sex-addiction/">Is Flirting A Sign Of Sex Addiction?</a> appeared first on <a rel="nofollow" href="https://www.itscheating.com">It&#039;s Cheating</a>.</p>
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		<title>How Childhood Abuse Affects a Man’s Adult Relationships with Women</title>
		<link>https://www.itscheating.com/relationships/how-childhood-abuse-affects-a-mans-adult-relationships-with-women/</link>
		
		<dc:creator><![CDATA[itscheating]]></dc:creator>
		<pubDate>Tue, 27 Apr 2021 21:18:19 +0000</pubDate>
				<category><![CDATA[Relationships]]></category>
		<guid isPermaLink="false">https://www.itscheating.com/?p=198</guid>

					<description><![CDATA[<p>Jesse James had his own TV show and was known for making customized motorcycles before he married superstar Sandra Bullock. In 2010, he publicly apologized to her after rumors of &#8230; <a href="https://www.itscheating.com/relationships/how-childhood-abuse-affects-a-mans-adult-relationships-with-women/" class="more-link">Read More</a></p>
<p>The post <a rel="nofollow" href="https://www.itscheating.com/relationships/how-childhood-abuse-affects-a-mans-adult-relationships-with-women/">How Childhood Abuse Affects a Man’s Adult Relationships with Women</a> appeared first on <a rel="nofollow" href="https://www.itscheating.com">It&#039;s Cheating</a>.</p>
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										<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>Jesse James had his own TV show and was known for making customized motorcycles before he married superstar Sandra Bullock. In 2010, he publicly apologized to her after rumors of his infidelity caused a media frenzy. Fans of Bullock could not understand why he would cheat on a beautiful, Academy Award-winning actress for a tattoo model.</p>
<p>After he entered rehabilitation for what he called “personal issues,” James appeared on ABC’s Nightline to explain his behavior. He said that his father had physically and emotionally abused him throughout his childhood and that “I&#8217;ve never had a real chance to be a kid. I was always scared.” During rehab, he learned that he self-sabotaged his success and marriage because “I believed I was not good enough.”</p>
<p>Some people took James’ explanation as a way of not “manning up” to what he had done. Yet psychologists who study men who endure abusive childhoods would probably agree that James was not being self-serving but rather that he was telling the truth. The public reaction that he was “whiny” or self-serving is typical and part of the reason why men are very reluctant to be open about their childhood abuse and how it affects their current relationships.</p>
<p>An abused boy has been told over and over again how worthless he is and that he doesn&#8217;t deserve anything to make him happy, such as a marriage to a desirable and wholesome woman. When he does enter a good relationship, he feels inadequate and may sabotage it by cheating — especially with someone who does not seem to measure up with his current partner. His abusive parent or caretaker taught him how to be overly critical of himself until self-criticism became a defining part of his personality, ultimately destroying all his relationships in general and his romantic relationships in particular.</p>
<p>Abused men have higher levels of psychopathology and higher rates of depression, both of which are correlated with higher rates of romantic infidelity. If the man was sexually abused as a child, he might have learned how to devalue sex and this, in turn, creates another set of problems in his marriage.</p>
<p>Abused boys also learn to do away with their emotions by a process psychologists call dissociation or numbing. They are unable to trust loved ones enough to open up emotionally and become vulnerable — both of which are necessary for true intimacy.</p>
<p>These men can usually master the beginning stages of love that are about infatuation and excitement, but once the relationship transitions into something more mature, the trouble begins. If a man’s father was unfaithful to his mother, his chances of being unfaithful to his wife particularly increase.</p>
<p>If his father was the abuser, a man could grow up to be an abuser himself. These men have extreme difficulty confronting feelings of helplessness and vulnerability that they felt when they were being abused as children and take the role of the abuser to feel powerful and in control.</p>
<p>On the other hand, an abused man will sometimes pick partners who remind him of his abusive parent or caretaker. The drama, criticism, and emotional intensity of the relationship are at his comfort level because they are so familiar.</p>
<p>If you are a man who cheats because you have unresolved childhood issues, your situation will not improve until you address your painful history. If you are a woman who&#8217;s involved with a man who is sabotaging your relationship through infidelity, you may need to seek professional help. Damaged people can do damage to other people. Yet it is also true that damaged people can change and that life always offers a choice to become the person you were meant to become.</p>
<p>The post <a rel="nofollow" href="https://www.itscheating.com/relationships/how-childhood-abuse-affects-a-mans-adult-relationships-with-women/">How Childhood Abuse Affects a Man’s Adult Relationships with Women</a> appeared first on <a rel="nofollow" href="https://www.itscheating.com">It&#039;s Cheating</a>.</p>
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		<title>Finding a Lost Lover on the Internet: Easy to do, but Dangerous if You’re Married</title>
		<link>https://www.itscheating.com/relationships/finding-a-lost-lover-on-the-internet-easy-to-do-but-dangerous-if-youre-married/</link>
		
		<dc:creator><![CDATA[itscheating]]></dc:creator>
		<pubDate>Tue, 27 Apr 2021 21:14:10 +0000</pubDate>
				<category><![CDATA[Relationships]]></category>
		<guid isPermaLink="false">https://www.itscheating.com/?p=196</guid>

					<description><![CDATA[<p>When Romeo meets Juliet, he tells her that this is the moment he first begins to live. And indeed, Romeo is right. There is something magical and life-changing about first &#8230; <a href="https://www.itscheating.com/relationships/finding-a-lost-lover-on-the-internet-easy-to-do-but-dangerous-if-youre-married/" class="more-link">Read More</a></p>
<p>The post <a rel="nofollow" href="https://www.itscheating.com/relationships/finding-a-lost-lover-on-the-internet-easy-to-do-but-dangerous-if-youre-married/">Finding a Lost Lover on the Internet: Easy to do, but Dangerous if You’re Married</a> appeared first on <a rel="nofollow" href="https://www.itscheating.com">It&#039;s Cheating</a>.</p>
]]></description>
										<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>When Romeo meets Juliet, he tells her that this is the moment he first begins to live. And indeed, Romeo is right. There is something magical and life-changing about first love, especially if you were a teenager or in your early 20s when it happened.</p>
<p>Most people never forget it, and many adults wonder from time to time what happened to the person who once transformed their life.</p>
<p>Dr. Aaron Ben Zeev, an expert on Internet relationships, said that people want to find their first loves because they idealize the past and are longing for circumstances that no longer exist.</p>
<p>They are also just curious. They are hopeful that if they find that person, the outcome will be better than the first time around. Instead of breaking up, true love will last a lifetime.</p>
<p>Part of the reason we so idealize our first love is that research shows people remember any event that occurred when they were between 10 and 30 years old more intensely and more vividly than at other times in their lives.</p>
<p>Things that happen in our formative years become part of our personal mythology. The first time we fall in love, according to author Thomas Lewis, has a once-in-a-lifetime intensity, and the longing for that person can last for years.</p>
<p>Dr. Nancy Kalish is probably the foremost expert in the world on looking up old lovers. After looking up her own first love as a young adult, she became fascinated by the whole process, wrote her Ph.D. thesis on it, and has studied the phenomenon for over 20 years now.</p>
<p>She says that in the 1990s, it was rare for a person to be able to locate a lost love, although many tried. Only 30% of these “rekindlers” were married.</p>
<p>Today the Internet has changed everything. Websites like Classmates.com with its 60 million members or Reunion.com with its 34 million make it easy to find anyone from your past, and there are even websites designed specifically to do the job like lostlover.com.</p>
<p>According to Dr. Kalish, many times, people are casually surfing the net and find a lost love on a whim, and then meet that person that same day.</p>
<p>The problem is today that 82% of “rekindlers” are married. The usual sequence of events is that rekindlers e-mail one another, meet for coffee, and land up in a hotel room, according to Dr. Kalish.</p>
<p>One of her studies of 1600 people who looked up lost loves found that 62% ended up having sex. Dr. Ben Zeev believes it is easier for rekindlers to do just that because if a couple had sex in the past, they perceive the new sex as “less sinful” than a new extramarital affair.</p>
<p>That first reunion is often powerful and intense because the hope and connection can be profound on the part of both the man and woman involved. Dr. Kalish’s research indicates that rekindled romances can have happy endings.</p>
<p>She studied 1000 people ages 18 to 95 years old who found old lovers and found 75% were still together ten years later. Among those who married, the divorce rate was only 1.5%.</p>
<p>Whether the romance works out usually depends upon why the couple broke up in the first place when they were young. If outside forces made them break up – such as disapproving parents or that they were too young to get married – they are more likely to stay together.</p>
<p>However, if they had personality traits that were irritating or had vast differences in values, these problems tend to resurface and break them apart after their reunions.</p>
<p>Believe it or not, it is common for a “rekindler” to have a dream about a past lover and then to interpret the dream as a message that they need to find that person.</p>
<p>Dr. Kalish has only one word of advice for anyone who decides to look up a past love for whatever reason.</p>
<p>“I wouldn’t touch it if I were married,” she says.</p>
<p>The post <a rel="nofollow" href="https://www.itscheating.com/relationships/finding-a-lost-lover-on-the-internet-easy-to-do-but-dangerous-if-youre-married/">Finding a Lost Lover on the Internet: Easy to do, but Dangerous if You’re Married</a> appeared first on <a rel="nofollow" href="https://www.itscheating.com">It&#039;s Cheating</a>.</p>
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		<title>Are You Married? In A Committed Relationship? If so, Avoid Friendships with the Opposite Sex, Psychologist Says</title>
		<link>https://www.itscheating.com/relationships/are-you-married-in-a-committed-relationship-if-so-avoid-friendships-with-the-opposite-sex-psychologist-says/</link>
		
		<dc:creator><![CDATA[itscheating]]></dc:creator>
		<pubDate>Tue, 27 Apr 2021 21:11:02 +0000</pubDate>
				<category><![CDATA[Relationships]]></category>
		<guid isPermaLink="false">https://www.itscheating.com/?p=194</guid>

					<description><![CDATA[<p>Oprah calls him one of the best psychotherapists in the world. So why does M. Gary Neuman take the radical – and some would say old-fashioned view – that people &#8230; <a href="https://www.itscheating.com/relationships/are-you-married-in-a-committed-relationship-if-so-avoid-friendships-with-the-opposite-sex-psychologist-says/" class="more-link">Read More</a></p>
<p>The post <a rel="nofollow" href="https://www.itscheating.com/relationships/are-you-married-in-a-committed-relationship-if-so-avoid-friendships-with-the-opposite-sex-psychologist-says/">Are You Married? In A Committed Relationship? If so, Avoid Friendships with the Opposite Sex, Psychologist Says</a> appeared first on <a rel="nofollow" href="https://www.itscheating.com">It&#039;s Cheating</a>.</p>
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										<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p><span data-preserver-spaces="true">Oprah calls him one of the best psychotherapists in the world.</span></p>
<p><span data-preserver-spaces="true">So why does M. Gary Neuman take the radical – and some would say old-fashioned view – that people in committed relationships should avoid all friendships with the opposite sex?</span></p>
<p><span data-preserver-spaces="true">Because they present competition to your partner, Neuman explains in his book, </span><em><span data-preserver-spaces="true">Emotional Infidelity</span></em><span data-preserver-spaces="true">.</span></p>
<p><span data-preserver-spaces="true">You start comparing the new person to what’s at home, and the new person is always more interesting and has qualities your partner does not. You begin to find out how “boring” your husband really is and how much more exciting a beautiful woman can be compared to your wife. </span></p>
<p><span data-preserver-spaces="true">Neuman, a marriage counselor, argues that such comparisons are always unfair because you are not looking at the “whole person.” The new man may funny and stimulating, but what you don’t know is that he is uninterested in his job and unable to handle money. The new woman may be beautiful, but she might make a terrible stepmother to your children. You must look at the whole person, and online relationships, in particular, make that just about impossible.</span></p>
<p><span data-preserver-spaces="true">Since most infidelity begins at the workplace, Neuman suggests that you do not make close, intimate friendships with colleagues of the opposite sex. Specifically, he suggests that you shut down any conversations that become too personal and intimate. Avoid all ongoing, regular conversations in which you are sharing your innermost thoughts and feelings, and never be the source of emotional support of a member of the opposite sex, especially during a crisis.</span></p>
<p><span data-preserver-spaces="true">Other secrets of avoiding infidelity are not being alone with persons of the opposite sex, seeing them only in groups, not drinking with them, and never hugging, kissing or dancing with them. Meet with opposite sex colleagues only in your workplace.</span></p>
<p><span data-preserver-spaces="true">Neuman suggests immediately stopping all behaviors like flirting online, sending funny emails to members of the opposite sex, and especially opening up to them any personal way. Your innermost thoughts and feelings are reserved for partner and this means you have to “isolate” yourselves emotionally.</span></p>
<p><span data-preserver-spaces="true">Neuman, who is also an ordained rabbi, says that people who refuse to shut down these behaviors are not being honest with themselves. They tell themselves and therapists like him that these relationships mean very little to them. </span></p>
<p><span data-preserver-spaces="true">Yet if they mean so very little, why do these same people resist giving them up? Why are you looking forward to that next text or email from that person so much? What excitement and energy are you getting out of this relationship? Why can’t you put that energy into your committed relationship so that such magic and excitement comes from your partner?</span></p>
<p><span data-preserver-spaces="true">As Neuman puts it, “It’s not about where (these behaviors) could lead. It’s about where they have already gone.”</span></p>
<p>The post <a rel="nofollow" href="https://www.itscheating.com/relationships/are-you-married-in-a-committed-relationship-if-so-avoid-friendships-with-the-opposite-sex-psychologist-says/">Are You Married? In A Committed Relationship? If so, Avoid Friendships with the Opposite Sex, Psychologist Says</a> appeared first on <a rel="nofollow" href="https://www.itscheating.com">It&#039;s Cheating</a>.</p>
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		<title>4 Truths That Can Help Save Your Relationship After An Affair</title>
		<link>https://www.itscheating.com/relationships/4-truths-that-can-help-save-your-relationship-after-an-affair/</link>
		
		<dc:creator><![CDATA[itscheating]]></dc:creator>
		<pubDate>Tue, 27 Apr 2021 21:06:27 +0000</pubDate>
				<category><![CDATA[Relationships]]></category>
		<guid isPermaLink="false">https://www.itscheating.com/?p=192</guid>

					<description><![CDATA[<p>Affairs are betrayals, and for some people there is no moving on after a partner cheats. However, many other people who discover a partner’s infidelity remain hopeful that they can &#8230; <a href="https://www.itscheating.com/relationships/4-truths-that-can-help-save-your-relationship-after-an-affair/" class="more-link">Read More</a></p>
<p>The post <a rel="nofollow" href="https://www.itscheating.com/relationships/4-truths-that-can-help-save-your-relationship-after-an-affair/">4 Truths That Can Help Save Your Relationship After An Affair</a> appeared first on <a rel="nofollow" href="https://www.itscheating.com">It&#039;s Cheating</a>.</p>
]]></description>
										<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p><span data-preserver-spaces="true">Affairs are betrayals, and for some people there is no moving on after a partner cheats. However, many other people who discover a partner’s infidelity remain hopeful that they can patch up the marriage or relationship and remain together.</span></p>
<p><span data-preserver-spaces="true">For those who want to make their relationship work following an affair, here are a few truths about cheating that may help rebuild that partnership.</span></p>
<h2><span data-preserver-spaces="true">Truths To Help Save Your Relationship After An Affair</span></h2>
<ol>
<li><strong><span data-preserver-spaces="true">Many People Who Cheat Have Happy Marriages – </span></strong><span data-preserver-spaces="true">Cheating is often not a sign that a partner is unhappy in his or her relationship and looking to get out. However, a study from Rutgers University found that 58 percent of men who&#8217;ve had affairs reported to be happier in their marriages, while 38 percent of women who had cheated were more satisfied in their current relationships. People in happy marriages cheat because something is missing from those marriages that they fear they can’t get from their spouse. After many years of marriage, and often after the arrival of children, sex and romance often drop to a minimum, leading some partners to miss the excitement and passion. If these things can be rekindled in a relationship, it may survive and even become stronger following an affair.</span></li>
<li><strong><span data-preserver-spaces="true">Some People Cheat Because They Want to Save Their Relationship – </span></strong><span data-preserver-spaces="true">Some people have affairs outside their marriage because they believe it will help them to save their relationship. They want their relationship to survive, so they try to plug any holes with help from outside romantic or sexual liaisons. Is this a misguided approach to saving a marriage? Definitely. These individuals would serve themselves and their relationship much better by discussing their dissatisfaction with their partners and seeking solutions together. However, a sincere desire to keep the relationship together may help the couple to rebuild after an affair.</span></li>
<li><strong><span data-preserver-spaces="true">Affairs Can Help People to Realize They Want to Save Their Relationship – </span></strong><span data-preserver-spaces="true">Sometimes, straying from a relationship can help people to realize how important or fulfilling that relationship is. However thrilling an affair may be, some people realize that the thrill is not enough to take the place of the committed partnership and friendship that their primary relationship provides. While the couple will still need to address the factors that led one partner to pursue an affair, the straying partner may feel re-committed to the relationship and happier with the present state of the relationship than they were before.</span></li>
<li><strong><span data-preserver-spaces="true">Infidelity Is Not the Leading Cause of Divorce – </span></strong><span data-preserver-spaces="true">If you are hoping to save your marriage or relationship after an affair, it may help to know that you are not alone. While infidelity does contribute to the dissolution of many marriages, it is actually not the leading cause of divorce. More broken marriages cite an inability to communicate as the primary reason that the couple sought a divorce. If your partner and yourself are open to clear and constructive communication, and both want to find ways to revive and solidify the relationship, you probably have a better chance of keeping your partnership alive than couples who are not dealing with infidelity but have simply forgotten how to talk.</span></li>
</ol>
<h2><span data-preserver-spaces="true">Trust Your Gut And History</span></h2>
<p><span data-preserver-spaces="true">None of these truths about affairs guarantees that your relationship will be able to survive infidelity, nor should they convince you that you ought to try saving your relationship if you don’t want to do so.</span></p>
<p><span data-preserver-spaces="true">It’s important to trust your instincts about the sincerity of your partner’s contrition over the affair and desire to mend the relationship. It’s also important to take lessons from the past: a one-time cheater may never do so again, but someone who has cheated in a previous relationship or earlier in your relationship will probably do so again.</span></p>
<p>The post <a rel="nofollow" href="https://www.itscheating.com/relationships/4-truths-that-can-help-save-your-relationship-after-an-affair/">4 Truths That Can Help Save Your Relationship After An Affair</a> appeared first on <a rel="nofollow" href="https://www.itscheating.com">It&#039;s Cheating</a>.</p>
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		<title>Overcoming the Pain of Past Infidelity in a New Relationship</title>
		<link>https://www.itscheating.com/relationships/overcoming-the-pain-of-past-infidelity-in-a-new-relationship/</link>
		
		<dc:creator><![CDATA[itscheating]]></dc:creator>
		<pubDate>Thu, 08 Apr 2021 14:45:07 +0000</pubDate>
				<category><![CDATA[Relationships]]></category>
		<guid isPermaLink="false">https://www.itscheating.com/?p=73</guid>

					<description><![CDATA[<p>You think you’re over it. The relationship or the marriage ended. You’ve taken a little time to work on yourself, and you’re ready to get back into the game. You &#8230; <a href="https://www.itscheating.com/relationships/overcoming-the-pain-of-past-infidelity-in-a-new-relationship/" class="more-link">Read More</a></p>
<p>The post <a rel="nofollow" href="https://www.itscheating.com/relationships/overcoming-the-pain-of-past-infidelity-in-a-new-relationship/">Overcoming the Pain of Past Infidelity in a New Relationship</a> appeared first on <a rel="nofollow" href="https://www.itscheating.com">It&#039;s Cheating</a>.</p>
]]></description>
										<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>You think you’re over it. The relationship or the marriage ended. You’ve taken a little time to work on yourself, and you’re ready to get back into the game.</p>
<p>You now know the signs to look for – the common characteristics of people who cheat. You know better than to spend too much time with someone who isn’t “looking for anything too serious” or “likes to keep options open.” You’ve had that. Now you’re looking for someone who’s open to an honest relationship.</p>
<p>And then you find that person, and the connection is so natural. He or she is looking for the same thing you are: an end to the games and the playing around. Exclusivity and commitment are valued, and, for the first time in a long time, you feel safe, secure, and even happy.</p>
<p>And then it happens. He gets the time wrong on that home-cooked dinner you were planning and shows up a half-hour late. You know it was a misunderstanding, but you can’t help wondering where he’s been, or more pressingly, with whom. She says she’s going to a movie with her girlfriends, and you start to wonder if she’s there.</p>
<p>Or is she with someone else? If everything is going so well and your partner has given you no real reason to question their behavior, why the doubt?</p>
<p>If you have been a victim of infidelity, this is only normal, and the default position of your brain’s self-protective mechanisms as you grow closer to a new lover. How many things come to mind that were more painful than your partner’s infidelity? Your brain, wanting to shield you from that emotional trauma, begins to throw up red flags, even around the most innocuous, harmless actions, mistakes, and circumstances.</p>
<p>In your brain, as a result of your previous partner’s behavior, action “A” signified outcome “B.” When he said he was just running a little late or that he had been mistaken about the time, there actually may have been another woman involved. When she said she was going out with the girls, she may actually have been with another man. You are not wrong for making these natural sorts of connections because these experiences have conditioned you.</p>
<p>Initially, you may wonder if it is even possible to genuinely heal from the pain of the past and the fear that comes to haunt you even in your new, healthier relationship. Will you always live with the scars of someone else’s past cheating?</p>
<p>The answer is that it is indeed possible to move past the pain of infidelity in a past romance or marriage. Time helps, but even many years later, some of the same emotional triggers will pop up. This is to be expected, but it is not a death sentence for your love life or potential happiness with a new partner.</p>
<p>When you have established some trust and emotional intimacy with your new partner, it is time to touch upon what happened in your prior relationship. This will be especially helpful for your partner, who does not have the context for adequately understanding negative emotions or intense reactions that you may have over something that to him or her seems innocuous.</p>
<p>When you explain that your brain naturally resorts to worst-case scenarios, he or she can choose to be more sensitive to your emotional needs or take extra steps to make you feel secure.<br />
However, your healing and emotional management is not the sole responsibility of your partner.</p>
<p>It is also necessary to work on seeing this relationship as a new and unique partnership. You must decide not to allow past infidelity, deception, and other misbehavior to poison your view of all future partners. This is hardly fair or even rational.</p>
<p>Recognize that what happened to you was sad and even tragic, but it was not fatal. Love is painful, and we all will go through breakups that feel like they’re going to break us. But you have come out the other side and lived to love again. Embrace that. Acknowledge what you learned from your past relationship, and then welcome the possibility of a better love. You are wiser now; you know things your younger self didn’t know.</p>
<p>And in the end, you may be hurt again. Yes, it is a possibility. But you also have the emotional resources and personal strength to handle that. Love is always a gamble, but every mistake or heartbreak need not make us jaded, just a little wiser. Embrace the fun and excitement and personal challenge of loving and trusting again.</p>
<p>The post <a rel="nofollow" href="https://www.itscheating.com/relationships/overcoming-the-pain-of-past-infidelity-in-a-new-relationship/">Overcoming the Pain of Past Infidelity in a New Relationship</a> appeared first on <a rel="nofollow" href="https://www.itscheating.com">It&#039;s Cheating</a>.</p>
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		<title>How Guilty Should You Feel About An Emotional Affair?</title>
		<link>https://www.itscheating.com/relationships/how-guilty-should-you-feel-about-an-emotional-affair/</link>
		
		<dc:creator><![CDATA[itscheating]]></dc:creator>
		<pubDate>Thu, 08 Apr 2021 14:37:12 +0000</pubDate>
				<category><![CDATA[Relationships]]></category>
		<guid isPermaLink="false">https://www.itscheating.com/?p=71</guid>

					<description><![CDATA[<p>Is sexual activity the defining feature of an affair, or can you cheat on your partner even when no sex is involved? And no sexual activity means none at all: &#8230; <a href="https://www.itscheating.com/relationships/how-guilty-should-you-feel-about-an-emotional-affair/" class="more-link">Read More</a></p>
<p>The post <a rel="nofollow" href="https://www.itscheating.com/relationships/how-guilty-should-you-feel-about-an-emotional-affair/">How Guilty Should You Feel About An Emotional Affair?</a> appeared first on <a rel="nofollow" href="https://www.itscheating.com">It&#039;s Cheating</a>.</p>
]]></description>
										<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p><span data-preserver-spaces="true">Is sexual activity the defining feature of an affair, or can you cheat on your partner even when no sex is involved? And no sexual activity means none at all: no in-person sex, phone sex, Internet sex, explicit text messages, or anything else. Can an emotional connection with someone other than your partner become so intense and involving that it qualifies as a violation of your relationship?</span></p>
<p><span data-preserver-spaces="true">Emotional affairs can be a true gray area, much more so than the “gray areas” involved in Internet infidelity. It’s a question of degrees, and determining whether there is a level of emotional attachment with another person can impact your marriage or relationship.</span></p>
<p><span data-preserver-spaces="true">It is healthy, maybe even critical, to have friendships outside your relationship. Otherwise, even the closest and most introverted of couples are likely to stifle each other and to feel bored or trapped. Most strong friendships, far from threatening your relationship, can actually help to strengthen it.</span></p>
<h2><span data-preserver-spaces="true">Many Relationship Experts Say Emotional Infidelity Is Real</span></h2>
<p><span data-preserver-spaces="true">However, most relationship experts agree that friendships can cross the line and become emotional infidelity and that these emotional affairs can be devastating to relationships.</span></p>
<p><span data-preserver-spaces="true">If you are feeling guilty about a certain friendship but aren’t sure whether it has developed into an emotional affair, there are indications that can help you to realize it has become inappropriate.</span></p>
<p><span data-preserver-spaces="true">You may find yourself dressing to impress this person and going to greater lengths than you do for your partner. You may feel the need to conceal from your partner how much time you really spend seeing, texting or talking to this person. You may share things with your friend that you would not feel comfortable sharing with your partner, particularly things like dreams and aspirations that create a strong emotional bond. Being with your friend may give you an emotional connection that you feel you cannot do without.</span></p>
<p><span data-preserver-spaces="true">Some surveys have found that partners feel even more betrayed when they discover an emotional affair than when they discover a sexual affair. They may see conventional cheating as “just sex” but feel that an emotional affair indicates relationship problems that run deeper. Sexual dysfunction in a relationship may seem like an easier problem to address than the lack of emotional intimacy that led to an emotional affair.</span></p>
<h2><span data-preserver-spaces="true">Recognizing The Truth About Your Emotional Affair</span></h2>
<p><span data-preserver-spaces="true">If your friendship has crossed the line and become emotional infidelity, you will probably realize it. You are the person who has the clearest idea of what that friendship really means to you and what your need for that friendship means about your relationship.</span></p>
<p><span data-preserver-spaces="true">You may fantasize about a sexual or romantic relationship with your friend, even if you do nothing to act on those fantasies. You may have sought out this person in order to compensate for unhappiness or dissatisfaction with your relationship. You may realize that you prefer to turn to your friend for support and emotional intimacy than to your partner.</span></p>
<p><span data-preserver-spaces="true">All of these possibilities indicate a serious threat to your marriage or relationship. Whether the state of your relationship prompted you to seek an emotional connection elsewhere or whether a friendship developed naturally and became a threat to the emotional intimacy of your relationship, it is a sign that your relationship has encountered a serious obstacle that needs to be addressed.</span></p>
<p><span data-preserver-spaces="true">Like affairs that involve sex, emotional affairs can arise spontaneously out of seemingly happy relationships or arise out of relationship dissatisfaction. Just as you are in the best position to recognize when your friendship has begun to get in your relationship&#8217;s way, you are in the best position to know whether this emotional affair is an isolated incident or a symptom of an underlying relationship problem.</span></p>
<p>The post <a rel="nofollow" href="https://www.itscheating.com/relationships/how-guilty-should-you-feel-about-an-emotional-affair/">How Guilty Should You Feel About An Emotional Affair?</a> appeared first on <a rel="nofollow" href="https://www.itscheating.com">It&#039;s Cheating</a>.</p>
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		<title>How Parental Infidelity Can Destroy Relationship With Children</title>
		<link>https://www.itscheating.com/relationships/how-parental-infidelity-can-destroy-relationship-with-children/</link>
		
		<dc:creator><![CDATA[itscheating]]></dc:creator>
		<pubDate>Wed, 07 Apr 2021 22:14:51 +0000</pubDate>
				<category><![CDATA[Relationships]]></category>
		<guid isPermaLink="false">https://www.itscheating.com/?p=54</guid>

					<description><![CDATA[<p>Infidelity can be devastating to the partners of cheaters, and it is one of the leading causes of breakups and divorces. However, cheated-on partners are not always the only victims &#8230; <a href="https://www.itscheating.com/relationships/how-parental-infidelity-can-destroy-relationship-with-children/" class="more-link">Read More</a></p>
<p>The post <a rel="nofollow" href="https://www.itscheating.com/relationships/how-parental-infidelity-can-destroy-relationship-with-children/">How Parental Infidelity Can Destroy Relationship With Children</a> appeared first on <a rel="nofollow" href="https://www.itscheating.com">It&#039;s Cheating</a>.</p>
]]></description>
										<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p><span data-preserver-spaces="true">Infidelity can be devastating to the partners of cheaters, and it is one of the leading causes of breakups and divorces. However, cheated-on partners are not always the only victims of infidelity. In relationships with children, infidelity can wreak havoc on parent-child relationships and also cause future problems for children in their own romantic relationships.</span></p>
<h2><span data-preserver-spaces="true">The Impact Of Parental Infidelity On Children</span></h2>
<p><span data-preserver-spaces="true">Children are also frequently angry when they discover that a parent has cheated. This is especially true of children who are forced into an uncomfortable position as the result of infidelity; some are made the confidant of the parent who cheated, while others are given the job of being the person who comforts the parent who was cheated on. Being forced to take on the weight of a parent’s misconduct and grief can leave a child with long-lasting anger to work through.</span></p>
<p><span data-preserver-spaces="true">Another troubling factor is that some research suggests the children of a cheating parent are more likely to be cheaters themselves. According to psychologist Dr. Ana Nogales, 55 percent of children who experience parental infidelity will go on to cheat on a romantic partner.</span></p>
<h3><span data-preserver-spaces="true">Relationships With Both Parents May Suffer</span></h3>
<p><span data-preserver-spaces="true">Parental infidelity does not only create problems between children and the parent who cheated, it can also cause a strain between children and the parent who was cheated on. It may not be fair, but the emotional turmoil that children feel when they find out that a parent cheated can cause them to place blame in multiple directions.</span></p>
<p><span data-preserver-spaces="true">Sometimes, children blame the parent who was cheated on for driving the other parent away and causing an affair to happen. They may blame the betrayed parent for failing to protect them from this event, feeling that they have failed both as a spouse and as a parent. Other children may feel embarrassed for their betrayed parents or even ashamed of them for being victimized in this way.</span></p>
<p><span data-preserver-spaces="true">The anger and discomfort directed at the parent who was betrayed may be short-lived; after the initial shock, children are more likely to see the situation rationally and place the blame where it belongs. However, in some situations, it can cause long-term friction in the parent-child relationship.</span></p>
<h3><span data-preserver-spaces="true">The Way The Child Finds Out About The Parental Infidelity Can Matter</span></h3>
<p><span data-preserver-spaces="true">Conventional wisdom says that the way in which children find out about parental infidelity influences the way that they respond to it. Children who hear about the affair from a cheating parent directly, along with apologies and explanations, are less likely to be angry and upset and more likely to regain a positive relationship with the parent in the future than children who hear about the affair from the betrayed parent or from a third party.</span></p>
<p><span data-preserver-spaces="true">However, a 2010 study from the University of San Francisco suggested that the way in which children learn about infidelity does not have as much impact as we thought. The study, by assistant professor of communications Allison Thorson, found that the way in which children learned about parental infidelity had no bearing on whether the parent child-relationship could be saved. In other words, having an affair has the potential to destroy your relationship with your children no matter what you do or say afterward.</span></p>
<p><span data-preserver-spaces="true">However, it’s still important to be honest and apologetic to your children. They will definitely respect you and be less upset than if they heard it from the betrayed parent or from a third party.</span></p>
<p>The post <a rel="nofollow" href="https://www.itscheating.com/relationships/how-parental-infidelity-can-destroy-relationship-with-children/">How Parental Infidelity Can Destroy Relationship With Children</a> appeared first on <a rel="nofollow" href="https://www.itscheating.com">It&#039;s Cheating</a>.</p>
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		<title>How To Get Over Insecurities After Being Cheated On And Work Through It</title>
		<link>https://www.itscheating.com/relationships/if-you-want-to-stay-with-a-cheating-partner-youll-need-strong-self-esteem/</link>
		
		<dc:creator><![CDATA[itscheating]]></dc:creator>
		<pubDate>Wed, 07 Apr 2021 16:32:17 +0000</pubDate>
				<category><![CDATA[Relationships]]></category>
		<guid isPermaLink="false">https://itscheating.com/?p=33</guid>

					<description><![CDATA[<p>How To Get Over Being Cheated On And Stay Together Discovering that your romantic partner has cheated on you can be a huge blow to your self-esteem. It can make &#8230; <a href="https://www.itscheating.com/relationships/if-you-want-to-stay-with-a-cheating-partner-youll-need-strong-self-esteem/" class="more-link">Read More</a></p>
<p>The post <a rel="nofollow" href="https://www.itscheating.com/relationships/if-you-want-to-stay-with-a-cheating-partner-youll-need-strong-self-esteem/">How To Get Over Insecurities After Being Cheated On And Work Through It</a> appeared first on <a rel="nofollow" href="https://www.itscheating.com">It&#039;s Cheating</a>.</p>
]]></description>
										<content:encoded><![CDATA[<h2>How To Get Over Being Cheated On And Stay Together</h2>
<p><span data-preserver-spaces="true">Discovering that your romantic partner has cheated on you can be a huge blow to your self-esteem. It can make you believe that you are no longer attractive, no longer interesting and no longer worth your partner’s time and attention. It can even make you believe that you&#8217;ve failed to be a good boyfriend, girlfriend or spouse, and that your actions have driven your partner away.</span></p>
<p><span data-preserver-spaces="true">Some relationships are able to survive infidelity, but poor self-esteem is an important obstacle to overcome if you want to rebuild your relationship with a straying partner. Moving on can be challenging to do, especially after you&#8217;re partner was unfaithful. It requires trust to be established again, in addition to other things like communication. </span></p>
<h3><span data-preserver-spaces="true">You Are Not To Blame For Your Partner’s Infidelity</span></h3>
<p><span data-preserver-spaces="true">Acknowledging mistakes is crucial to rebuilding trust, but if the betrayed partner cannot rebuild self-esteem, then it may get to a pointing fingers argument and get nowhere. Not only does this reinforce the negative thoughts he may be having about himself and his worth as a romantic partner, but it allows the straying partner to dodge the responsibility for his or her own misdeeds.</span></p>
<p><span data-preserver-spaces="true">Cheaters who manage to convince themselves and others that they are not to blame for having one affair have a smooth path leading to their next affair. If it wasn’t their fault the first time, then it won’t be their fault the second, third or fourth time. If they are not to blame, then it must be their partners who need to change their attitudes and behaviors.</span></p>
<h3><span data-preserver-spaces="true">Establishing Boundaries, Reviving The Relationship After Infidelity</span></h3>
<p><span data-preserver-spaces="true">Victims of infidelity need to have the confidence to establish boundaries and expectations for their partners’ future behavior. This may include requiring partners to close certain social media accounts, asking that they be home at a certain time each day (at least for a while) or insisting that they rein in habitually flirtatious behavior.</span></p>
<p><span data-preserver-spaces="true">Just as it takes confidence and self-esteem to recognize when you are not to blame, it also takes these qualities to recognize what you can do to help your relationship succeed in the future. An affair is always the fault of the person who cheats, but that doesn’t mean that both partners shouldn’t contribute to reviving and strengthening the relationship.</span></p>
<p><span data-preserver-spaces="true">Both partners need to work cooperatively to improve communication, renew the romance or help the relationship in other ways, and cheated-on partners need to be able to look honestly and critically at their own behavior without assigning themselves blame that they do not deserve.</span></p>
<h3><span data-preserver-spaces="true">Help Yourself And Help Your Relationship After Infidelity</span></h3>
<p><span data-preserver-spaces="true">Recovering self-esteem that has been shaken by infidelity, and perhaps by relationship difficulties that preceded the infidelity, is not a matter of snapping your fingers. Rebuilding a relationship takes a lot of work, but you may also need to devote time to your own health and well-being.</span></p>
<p><span data-preserver-spaces="true">There are many ways to help build up your self-esteem. Being dedicated to personal hygiene, healthy eating habits and regular exercise can make you feel good about yourself physically. Getting enough sleep will also help you to stay in good physical health and avoid the depressed and anxious thoughts that can wear down your self-esteem.</span></p>
<p><span data-preserver-spaces="true">Taking up an old or new activity that you love can help you to feel excited about yourself and your experiences. Completing tasks that you have been putting off for a long time will also help you to feel good about yourself.</span></p>
<p><span data-preserver-spaces="true">Some people benefit greatly from talk therapy that can help them to recognize and challenge negative thoughts and replace them with positive ones.</span></p>
<p>The post <a rel="nofollow" href="https://www.itscheating.com/relationships/if-you-want-to-stay-with-a-cheating-partner-youll-need-strong-self-esteem/">How To Get Over Insecurities After Being Cheated On And Work Through It</a> appeared first on <a rel="nofollow" href="https://www.itscheating.com">It&#039;s Cheating</a>.</p>
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