We all have an intuition, a gut feeling that tells us things our conscious brain is more likely to ignore. Some of us are more in tune with this intuition, while some of us interpret it as insecurity or another weakness. You have no evidence that your spouse is cheating on you, but your gut is telling you that he is. How do you know if you’re right or if you are just feeling insecure in your relationship? Learn to read cues and your own intuition to get the answer.
Intuition Is Real
Your intuition isn’t some magical power that you have to understand to use. Intuition is simply our ability to pick up on subtle cues. We all have the ability to do it, but most of us ignore it. In the case of infidelity, you don’t even have to be the offended partner to pick up on subtle signs of cheating.
In one study, researchers showed participants short video clips of couples and asked them to pick out which people they thought were cheating on their partners. Based only on these brief observations of behavior, the volunteers were overwhelmingly successful at picking out the cheaters. Their intuition, or observations of subtle clues, allowed them to determine which people were committing infidelity. If they can do it, so can you.
Intuition vs. Insecurity
It is possible in a relationship to confuse a gut feeling with being insecure. How can you tell the difference? Answer these questions:
- Are you suspicious of people by nature?
- Do you feel like you love your spouse more than he loves you?
- Are you demanding of your partner’s attention and feel like you don’t get enough?
- Have you been the needy or insecure partner in previous relationships?
- Are you usually pessimistic?
- Are you often jealous in relationships?
If you can answer yes to at least a couple of these questions, you may be mistaking insecurity for insight into your spouse’s cheating. This is not a definite and you still may be right about your gut feeling. Give the situation real and considered thought and don’t be afraid to admit to yourself that you may be very insecure.
If you still feel like your partner is cheating, you might be right. Even if you are naturally insecure, that doesn’t mean that your intuition is necessarily wrong. Now that you have that gut feeling, analyze it. What are the subtle cues that your subconscious mind is noticing? Is he acting more distant? Are you having less sex than you used to without any real reason for the decrease? Is he spending late nights at work when he never used to in the past? Does his phone vibrate more than usual? Does he keep his phone more secure than he used to?
There are signs of cheating that can be really subtle, and if you are in tune with yourself and your relationship, you will notice them on some level. Whether you are right or wrong, it’s bothering you and you need to bring it up to clear the air. Approach your partner gently, rather than accusingly, and without emotion. He will respond better if you remain calm and logical. Have a real talk and hash it out. The outcome could put your mind at ease or set you on a new path entirely.
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