For people who are at risk of sex addiction or infidelity, social media has become a huge temptation. Hiding behind a computer screen, they feel that their relationship is secret to everyone but themselves and their lover. 

This false secrecy has put their current relationship in jeopardy and placed them in a fictitious world where they can escape all things undesirable. Through rehabilitation professionals, people who are addicted to this relationship-damaging behavior can find some help.

Meet Me in Cyberspace

Computers, tablets and smart phones are within reach of most Americans throughout most or all of the day. The researchers in the study say that the ease of using the Internet and its speed in sending love letters or photos makes it tempting to carry on secret affairs.

When couples meet in cyberspace they don’t have to explain where they’re going or worry about who will see them. They are immediately at their destination and carrying on with their partner without having to leave their home or office. Time, place and transportation are all worries that have been set aside. 

In fact, some people carry on illicit conversations while their partner is sitting just across the room. Connecting with old flames has never been easier. And friends of friends on Facebook may spark a new or an old interest.

Multiple Identities Create Multiple Problems

The ease of creating multiple e-mail, Facebook and Twitter accounts makes it more tempting for partners to consider, initiate or respond to an illicit relationship. Multiple accounts can allow a person to indulge in multiple personalities. Information, including pictures of the person, can even be fictitious. 

Most people in the survey admitted they using fake accounts so they could list their status as single. Others said they just wanted a place where they could talk privately with their illicit partner.

Multiple identities create multiple fictitious stories. For some people, this behavior can pull them into a world of lies that comes crashing down.

Not So Secret

Some people feel they’re safely hidden behind a computer screen and that no one could possibly know of their secret worlds, but the study found otherwise. Half of the 2,400 people in the survey said their partner found out about their infidelities, wither when accounts are accidentally left open or a spouse walks by and notices a message that looks suspicious. 

Cell phones that are left on the counter are also full of sent and received mail that can be accessed by a suspicious spouse, or even a child who innocently wants to just play with a game on the phone.

Rehabilitation services can help cheaters break out of their secret world and find honest grounding through their family. Infidelity does not have to mean separation and divorce. Through the help of specialists, individuals with addictions or obsessions can recover and families can heal.

The post Secret Social Media Accounts Offer Easy Venues for Illicit Relationships appeared first on It's Cheating.

Currently, it depends on whom you ask. The courts in Canada, for example, have ruled that cyber-infidelity, if it is entirely virtual and does not include real-life sexual encounters, does not meet the legal definition of adultery and cannot be used as a legit reason for immediate divorce. Canadians who want to divorce a partner who has had a virtual affair need to live apart from their partner for one year before they will be granted a legal divorce.

Differing Opinions on Infidelity

Courts are not the only source of disagreement on whether cyber cheating is “real” infidelity. Even people who have online sexual encounters do not all agree about whether their actions mean they are cheating on their partner. One study found that around 65 percent of people having cybersex did not consider themselves unfaithful, while 40 percent admitted to believing that they were cheating.

The people whose partners have had online affairs tend to have much more uniform views on the subject. The majority of them agree that the emotional impact of a partner’s cyber infidelity is similar to “in real life” cheating and is morally wrong.

Some people who engage in cybersex outside their relationship argue that such acts not only don’t qualify as cheating but also actually help them to stay faithful by adding excitement and diversity to their sex life. However, more than one survey has found that cyber infidelity leads to real-life infidelity a very high percentage of the time. This is not true in every case, but people whose partners argue that cybersex is not a danger to their relationship should be wary of the statistics.

The Evolution of Cybersex

As the nature of cybersex continues to evolve and expand, it may begin to achieve greater legal standing in more places. Gone are the days when online cheating was limited to flirting in chat rooms, and the term “sexting” had yet to be coined. Modern cyber cheaters can send and receive explicit pictures, have virtual sex using avatars in online role-playing games, engage with online sexual partners through video streaming, and even use “teledildonics” to sync sexual stimulation devices to the actions of other real people.

Technology is almost certainly going to continue to evolve so that “virtual” sexual encounters become more and more like the real thing. As this happens, it will almost certainly force institutions that have so far dismissed cybersex for reevaluating its standing under divorce law.

Other Consequences of Virtual Affairs

Just because cyber-infidelity is not considered legal grounds for divorce in many places does not necessarily mean that the party who engages in cybersex will come out even in divorce proceedings. Some couples include cybersex in prenuptial agreements, and violating that agreement can mean serious financial penalties. Cyber infidelity can also be taken into account when it comes to granting custody of any children. Even if a court did not consider cyber cheating legal grounds for divorce, a history of cyber cheating might help to convince the court to give full or majority custody to the parent who was cheated on.

Ultimately, people who are victims of cyber infidelity let a legal definition determine their response. Those who feel betrayed and devastated by cyber cheating or believe that their partner’s behavior crossed a line should feel justified in responding as strongly as any other person whose partner had an affair.

The post Is Cybersex Grounds for Divorce? appeared first on It's Cheating.

The cyber world has greatly expanded the possibilities of human interaction, and at the same time, it has complicated our understanding of infidelity. People whose partners engage in an online affair may feel not only hurt and betrayed but also unsure whether they are justified in being so upset.

In truth, research and expert opinions consistently suggest that online infidelity and in-person fidelity have similar consequences for individuals and relationships. Internet cheating causes the cheated-on partner to experience similar levels of emotional distress and is equally likely to result in the break-up of a relationship.

In a recent article, clinical psychologist Joseph Nowinski, Ph.D., states that in his experience, “There is little difference between the two types of infidelity in terms of their impact on relationships. In both cases, trust is broken.”

Study Confirms Emotional Impact of Online Cheating

This opinion is borne out by a 2013 study from Texas Tech University on Facebook infidelity. This research, carried out by doctoral candidates Jaclyn Cravens and Kaitlin Leckie with the assistance of marriage and family therapy associate professor Jason Whiting, used data gathered from Facebookcheating.com in order to evaluate the real-life impact of cyber infidelity.

Facebookcheating.com is a website where people can share stories and ask for advice about their experiences with a partner’s Facebook infidelity. Cravens and her fellow researchers used the data gathered from this website to create a five-stage process model of the typical coping process for people who have discovered that their partners have been unfaithful.

The five stages outlined by the Texas Tech team were (1) noticing warning signs, (2) discovering infidelity, (3) damage appraisal, (4) acting on appraisal, and (5) making a relationship decision. These stages appeared to be unique to the experience of online infidelity, particularly when it came to the complexity of step three, during which partners determine how serious a violation of the trust the online infidelity represents.

However, the Texas Tech team found no ultimate difference when it came to the overall emotional impact of Facebook cheating. People whose partners cheated online experienced equally strong emotional responses to the betrayal. These individuals typically felt shocked, anger, hurt, and lost trust in their partners.

Standing By Your Own Feelings About a Partner’s Online Activity

Individuals and relationships are all unique. The behavior that individuals consider to be acceptable, as well as the boundaries that have been set for relationships, are never exactly the same.

This lack of definitive and universal rules can make it more difficult to come to a firm decision and feel justified in that decision when deciding that a partner betrayed you. The relative newness of the Internet world and the many different kinds of Internet interaction only add confusion to the matter.

However, this subjectivity also means that your feelings about and respond to any form of cheating are just as legitimate as anyone else’s. The well-worn excuse that an affair “only” happened online should not make you feel that your shock, anger, and other emotions that accompany a betrayal of trust are not justified. As a professor of psychology, Susan Krauss Whitbourne, Ph.D., states in her own article about Internet infidelity, “Just because the cheating takes place online doesn’t mean it’s any less painful.”

The post Infidelity ‘Only’ Online No Less Painful appeared first on It's Cheating.