If you have been hurt by infidelity, you are far from alone. Since the beginning of time, women have been cheated on by their men. Just because it has always happened doesn’t mean infidelity is right. No one should have their trust betrayed in this way, but it may help to understand why men do this. What drives certain men to have affairs while others are content not to stray?
Why Do Men Cheat
- The Internet makes it so easy. While cheating has always been around, more men are likely to engage in it today because it’s easier to get away with it. With common cheating websites designed specifically to help people have affairs, with social media connecting old partners and with porn and chat rooms so available, some men just can’t resist their urges when technology makes it so easy.
- He’s addicted to drugs or alcohol. Are men more likely to cheat while on drugs? Absolutely, the answer is yes. Anyone in the thrall of addiction is likely to make choices they wouldn’t otherwise. Abusing substances is an escape, and so is having an affair. The two go hand-in-hand.
- He wasn’t ready to commit. It’s not unusual for a man to get into a committed relationship or even to get married before he’s really ready. Not being prepared for everything that comes with commitment and monogamy is a sign of immaturity, but it’s not always so easy to spot. Sometimes the man himself really thinks he is mature enough for the relationship, but he turns out to be wrong.
- Sex addiction isn’t always an excuse. Being addicted to sex is a popular excuse used by cheaters when they’re caught, but sometimes it’s real. Sex addiction is valid, although it isn’t really that common. A classic sign of infidelity as an addiction is that the man continues to cheat in spite of serious and negative consequences.
- Childhood examples. How we are raised and what we experience as children are powerful influences over how we act as adults. Often for unfaithful men, childhood experiences taught them that cheating was normal. They follow the examples they were given by their adult role models.
Moving Forward – Either Together Or Apart
Why men cheat can be complicated and highly individualized, but there are some commonalities and generalizations that can be made.
If you’ve been hurt by a cheating spouse or partner, understanding why he did it won’t fix the hurt and the loss of trust, but it is a step in the right direction. Hopefully, you will explore these reasons in therapy together.
If you are both committed to moving forward, working with a professional is a must.
If you are going your separate ways, it can still be helpful to work with a therapist so that you can learn to heal and be ready to trust and love again.