Clicky

Married And Looking Outside My Relationship

Are you married but not happily married? Then, you’ve probably thought about cheating or having an affair. If you’re stumped about where to start and to reduce your risk of getting caught, you’ve come to the right guide.

Way more people cheat than we realize. It happens at all ages, and it’s going to stay. That doesn’t make it a good thing, but anyone asking for the total abolition of cheating is basically asking for people to stop being human.

Despite the number of people cheating, a lot of them aren’t good at it. They’ll go in with no plan for how long the relationship should last or how they’ll cover their tracks. They might be seen getting cozy in public, just asking to be exposed.

The only way to not get caught cheating is to not cheat. However, we can help you by giving practical advice on reducing risk. An important first step is not looking for partners in public. Instead, stick to the internet.

Don’t just join any dating website, however. If you message someone on Match or eHarmony and say you’re looking for an affair, you’re likely to inspire confusion or vitriol. People certainly use these sites to cheat, but they’re not designed explicitly for cheating, as other sites are.

A relationship doesn’t have to be completely awful for you to want to cheat. You may just be bored and want to explore other things. We do have other recommendations, such as couples therapy or just spending more meaningful time with your partner. Just know that we don’t judge you if you decide to cheat.

Married Looking For An Affair: The Top Rules to Follow

Want to know how to use cheating sites responsibly? You need to follow these tips.

Determine your desire

Do you want to find someone to just have some steamy conversations with?

Do you want to start something really big, which could lead to your marriage ending?

Is it as simple as just wanting someone to snuggle up with?

Those are all possible scenarios when cheating, but you need to be clear about your intentions. On your profile, you need to explain what you’re looking for. Miscommunication can turn a fun new fling into something much more stressful. Be sure you also know what the other person is looking for.

Don’t go too fast

If you’re fantasizing about a new partner before you’ve even got the chance to really get to know them, take a step back.

You don’t have to sit around waiting for them to say everything, but you should be careful not to get too excited too soon.

Immediately asking someone to come over or asking them to be your partner is kind of pathetic, to say the least. 

Talk to a few people at a time. That way, you don’t get hung up on one person.

Tell the truth

Cheating is an inherently dishonest act, but that doesn’t mean you should just dig yourself into a bigger hole of lies. People need to know whether you’re married or what kind of relationship you’re in.

Avoid being too explanatory about why you’re cheating. It’s unlikely to alleviate guilt, and you don’t have to explain yourself to people who are on cheating websites.

They’re there for reasons similar to you. There might be a few differences, but there should be a mutual understanding. 

If you hit it off, you can set up a meeting and see what happens from there. 

There’s more to it than sex

If you want to relieve sexual frustration, there are many ways to do that, aside from cheating. While a loss of physical intimacy is distressing, it’s probably not your only reason for cheating.

A lot of people who cheat do it because they no longer feel emotionally connected to their partner. No longer are they delivering heartfelt words or showing general appreciation. It’s like their partner doesn’t see them as anything but a roommate.

With a cheating site, they can find someone they’re not only attracted to but who they actually feel a connection to.

Narrow Down Your Search

You could be attracted to every type of adult but still, need to fine-tune your dating site search. We all have preferences, even if some of them are more specific than others.

Cheating sites are pretty open in terms of relationships they’ll allow. There are both opposite and same-sex relationships. 

Besides the type of person you want to be matched with, you should also specify what you’re into, where partners can live, and what you like in the bedroom. It’s a lot better than just scrolling through waves of users.

When a mutual attraction develops, and you know you’ll be able to meet up with minimal stress, you know you’ve played your cards right.

Don’t talk about your spouse

It’s hard to forget that you’re married, but you shouldn’t bring up your spouse beyond letting the other person know you’re married.

The same goes for any other part of your domestic situation, like telling the other person if you have kids. It can cause a lot of stress for both you and them.

Don’t share uncensored photos or personal information until you’ve set up a meeting

These sites know that people don’t want to be caught, so they give you plenty of ways to hide your identity. It’s still up to you to make sure you’re using them properly.

Photos are a good way to draw in another user, but you don’t want to let strangers see your face, right? You can blur photos so that people can have a general sense of what you look like without giving too much away. When you feel like you can properly trust someone, you can share your unblurred face and other important information with them. 

Give them compliments

You need to create chemistry between the two of you. Giving compliments on a regular basis allows things to really spice up. 

If you’re with a woman, tell them specific things you love about their looks, such as noticing when they’ve had their hair done. It’s not about big gestures. It’s about a bunch of smaller tones.

Keep things as casual as possible

Don’t try to turn a short-term affair into a new commitment. You need to differentiate between this and your current relationship. One of the biggest differences is that an affair is supposed to end.

You’re not the only person who has a life outside of this relationship. Remember that the other person has a lot to juggle and that it’s unfair to be unclear about your intentions. If you’re not sure, figure them out before you drag anyone else in.

Avoid nosy questions

If you’d feel uncomfortable being asked certain questions, you shouldn’t ask them yourself. Can you live without asking a certain, sensitive question? Then, don’t ask it.

Sometimes, these questions can seem rather innocuous, but they’re actually pretty personal. The other person might not want to talk about why they wanted an affair, especially not early on.

However, you can still gain some useful intel without crossing any boundaries. Ask about their turn-ons and why they’re attracted to you.

Specify your boundaries

There are times where you need to spell things out as clearly as possible so that no lines are crossed. This is one of them. If someone isn’t clear about what they want, you shouldn’t further your conversation with them.

Don’t meet in familiar locations

Your affair needs to happen in places where you aren’t known. That means your home and workplace are off-limits. 

Use places like hotels or restaurants outside of your main area. This way, you can also relax more, as the risk of getting found out is severely lowered.

A lot of crucial planning goes into having an affair, but you won’t regret taking precautions.

Talk about safety

Anyone you’re involved with should take safety seriously. If something makes you nervous, you should discuss it with them. If they refuse to hear you out or follow a plan, you should end things. 

If you want to cheat but are worried about the risk, we hope you found our advice useful. These are things that actual people have tried and recommend. We can’t say they’re infallible methods, but they’re better than just winging it.

Trying to cheat outside of the internet is a lot riskier. For a long time, it was all we had, but now that’s it’s no longer the default, why stick to it?

FAQ’s

Married Man Looking for a Married Woman?

The overall concept of affairs is the same and don’t really change much if you are looking for a single or married woman. The one major difference is that a single woman may not have the same priorities and wants to take you away from your wife. A married woman tends to want the same casual fun from your encounters, and that boundary can be safer for you in the long term if you want to stay with your spouse and have less drama.

Are You Married Looking for Someone To Talk To Only?

Some people only want to have conversations and flirt with others without physical interactions. If that’s the case for you, then there are plenty of online dating sites where you can accomplish this. Ashley Madison is the most popular site.

Are You A Married Man Looking for Girlfriend?

If you want casual fun occasionally, then affairs can be more simple. When you start to entertain having a girlfriend on the side is where things can become tricky. A non-married woman may be trying to take you all to herself, despite the boundaries you set with them. Proceed with caution if this is what you want.

Bottom Line:

Affairs are very complicated and can be risky for a variety of reasons. Most people get caught because they are careless and take the most convenient and easy route: Cheating with someone too close to home, work, or within their circle of friends.

If you want to be more secretive then, a dating website that is discreet, safe, and secure is the way to go. Ashley Madison has a reputation for being the best site for marital affairs, and it has over 80 million worldwide active users. Women can join and chat for free, and men only have to pay a small fee to message women.